In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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