Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
