i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
