There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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