it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
