I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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