The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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