do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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