You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
