On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
