sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Randomize
