My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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