Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
