You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
