I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
