The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
