Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
