before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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