The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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