I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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