you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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