i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
