even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
