her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
