yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Randomize