her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize