We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Ladies don't puke and tell
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
