Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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