Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
