Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
