Your face is a jimmy john
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
