U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
