you would pick up someone in the library
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
