Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
