After last night, I could never be a politician.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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