Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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