We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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