Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
