If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
