Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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