using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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