So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
