And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
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