Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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