dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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