Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
