I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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