someone get that fucking seahorse.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
