I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Randomize
