A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Help. Why am I so naked?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
