Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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