Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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