i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
