she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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