the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
