Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize