I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
