So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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