You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
you didnt know i had herpes?
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
