something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
