Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
