I just saw a hot homeless man
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize