I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
