I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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