going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
