you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
