My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
