At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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