I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
