ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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