so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
